Sunday, 24 November 2013

Must See: Funny but inspiring - bullet for Jesus

The two thousand member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning.

The preacher was ready to start the sermon when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered through the rear of the church.

One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, “Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!”

Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the assistant pastor. After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The preacher was holding steady in the pulpit.

The men put their weapons away and said, gently, to the preacher, “All right, pastor, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the service.”

Are you for God or you're against God??

Check out this hilarious photo - Why Akpos wants to Brazil for the 2013 world cup by fire by force

Funny akpos joke: Final exam at the police college >> Read Joke >>

Akpos was taking his final exam at Police College in Kano. Here is one of the questions:

"You are on patrol in the outskirts of Kano when an explosion occurs in the township.

On investigation you find a large hole has been blown in the footpath and there is an overturned van lying nearby. Inside the van there is a strong smell of alcohol. Both occupants a man and woman are injured.

You recognize the woman as the wife of your Divisional Inspector, who is at present away on a Peace Making Mission In Sudan.

A passing motorist stops to offer you assistance and you realize that he is a man who is wanted for armed robbery.

Suddenly a man runs out of a nearby house, shouting that his wife is expecting a baby and that the shock of the explosion has made the birth imminent.

Another man is crying for help, having been blown into an adjacent Canal by the explosion, and he cannot swim.

Describe in a few words what action you would take?"

Akpos thought for a moment, picked up his pen, and wrote: "I would take off my uniform and mingle with the crowd, do you want to turn me to a mad man?"

Short joke - Heartless Akpos

Akpors: My dad fell in the Well.
Ekaite: Oh my God! Is he alright?
Akpors: He must be, cos he stopped calling for help since yesterday.

One word for akpos ----

Joke - The mad cow disease joke

In a rural program for farmers, there was a female reporter seeking the main cause of mad cow disease, she arranged an interview with a farmer who may have some theories on the matter. This was what went down:

LADY REPORTER: I am here to gather as much information I can get on the possible sources of mad cow disease.

The Farmer stared at the reporter and said "Do you know that a bull mounts a cow once in a year?"

REPORTER [embarrassed]: Well sir, that's new information, but what relationship exists between this and the mad cow saga?
FARMER: And do you know that we milk a cow twice a day?
REPORTER: This is a valuable information sir, but what about getting to the point?
FARMER: I am getting to the point, just imagine that I was playing with your tits twice a day, and screwing you once a year, wouldn't you get mad?

Hilarious joke: hypersexual cock trouble

A Farmer buys a young cock. As soon as it comes home, it rushes and mount all the 150 Hens.

Farmer is impressed. At lunch, the cock again screws all 150 Hens, Farmer gets tense now.

"This one is trouble o", the Farmer thought.

Next day, he finds cock mounting the ducks, turkeys and parrots too.

"Ha, am I safe?" asks the farmer.

Later, he finds the cock lying pale, half-dead and vultures circling over its head.

Farmer says "You hyper-sexual bastard, you deserve this!"

The cock opens one eye and says "Sshhh! don't shout, let them land."

<collection of funny pictures on instagram and twitter... Follow @ naijacomedyclub now>

Saturday, 23 November 2013

Joke: Irritating Soft meat Joke

A man walked into a hotel and ordered Jollof rice and meat, he finished eating his food and was eating his meat when he suddenly shouted and called for the manager!

MANAGER: Sir, what's the problem?

MAN: The meat you people gave me is very hard!

MANAGER: But sir our meats are well cooked there is no way it will be hard.

MAN: Ok eat it yourself and tell me how it is.

MANAGER: [eating the meat] but sir this meat is very soft, I don't know why you are complaining.

MAN: Why won't it be soft? Do you know how long I have been chewing it?

MANAGER: [Irritated] Oh My God!

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