LMAO!!! I bet you'll pray for asuu's resumption after looking at this pix..

Hilarious Photo of a 65 year old man caught stealing 40 kegs of petrol, said he thought it was water

Akpos and Friends joke - Saddest Story Ever

Akpos and his two friends went to  China for
vacation. Since they were new at the place,
they had to stay in a hotel. They ended up
being on the 60th floor. The policy of the
hotel was that, at midnight, the elevator is
shut down. The next day, they rented a car
and explored the city.
They enjoyed themselves and arrived at the
hotel pass midnight. The elevators had been
shut down.
There was no other way to get to their room
than to take the stairs all the way to the 60th
floor.
The first friend said; for the first 20 floors, I
will tell jokes to keep us going. (pointing to
the second friend) you’ll say wise stories for
the next 20 floors, and (pointing to Akpos)
you will cover the final 20 floors with sad
stories.
They started telling jokes. With lots of laugh
and joy, they reached the 20th floor.
The second friend started telling stories full of
wisdom. They had learnt a lot on reaching the
40th floor.
Now it was time for sad stories. Akpos said;
my first sad story is that I forgot the key of
the room in the car.

Joke: Akpors and the chinko medicine

CHINKO MEDICINE

PG 18+ (Reader's discretion advised)

Mr Akpors - a Nigerian tourist goes on a trip to China.

While in China, he was very sexually promiscuous and didn't use condom all the time.

A week after arriving back home, he awakes one morning to find his penis covered with bright green and purple spots.

Horrified, he immediately goes to see a consultant at the National Hospital Abuja.

The doctor, never having seen anything like that before, orders some tests and tells Mr Akpors to return in two days for the results.

Akpors returns a couple of days later and the doctor says:

"I've got bad news for you. You've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it".

Akpors looks a little perplexed and says:

"Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, doc".

The doctor answers:

"I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis".

Akpors screams in horror, "EWOOO!!! AMPU.... WETIN?! I want a second opinion please doc".

The doctor replies:

"Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice".

The next day, Akpors seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'll know more about the disease.

The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims:

"Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Very lare disease".

Akpors says to the doctor:

"Yeah, yeah, I already know that, but what can we do? My doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis?"

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs:

"Stupid docta, always want to opelate. Make more money, that way. No need to opelate!"

"Oh, Thank God!", Akpors replies in relief.

"Yes", says the Chinese doctor, "You no worry! Wait another couple of weeks. Penis fall off by itself!"

Akpors fainted!

Funny pictures of Nigerian pals praying to turn water to petrol (ROFLWKMD)

They believe if Jesus could turn water to wine, they could do likewise by turning water to petrol....lwkmd..

Describe them in your own words abeg

ROFL!!! Micheal Jackson spotted in Oshodi inside danfo last week >> See funny photo>>

He was spotted when he wanted to buy a bottle of lacasera on his way to mush in *lolz*

Lmao! What's the future of these small girls practising big madam (hilarious photo)

Lolz... Funny brats imitating big girls... The future of Naija is unpredictable..lmao